Sunday, February 22, 2009

Appellation diabolique.

I'm about to tell you a big secret today. Yup, something that'll blow you away.Something that'll leave you gasping for more. Something that'll rip you apart with its intensity and fill you up with awe at the same instant (I'm not quite sure if that's physically possible though..imagine it).
Like the time when Krishna bestowed the darshan of his true, celestial self upon Arjun who was losing the sight of his path, like the enlightenment Gautamaditya acquired under the bodh tree (that was it, wasnt it?) , like Archimedes, you'll be yelling "eureka" ... although (I hope) you don't run out of your bathtub seemingly naked screaming it out loud (why would you be reading this in your bathtub in the first place, freak?) .. once you know this. 
My friend, there comes a time in everyone's existance, when opportunity actually does knock ...when they're hit by the (proverbial) apple on the head.... and when this happens, there's one thing that's certain... it's going to be the best damn piece of information anyone's ever been told by anyone else.

When you feel like bi*ch slapping me ... you know Ive gone too far (you're too sweet for that, aren't you? gulp.). So I shud get back on track and tell you the reason why I wrote this.... 
Today,  Ladies and Gentlemen , is the day when I tell you that one single thing, that one event that drives me craaazy ... *slap* quit thinking of Aishwarya..... and I'm talking MAD, complete with steam from the nose and ears (no other crevices, thank you) 

Sequence flash  begins.... in negative print (bollywood hai bhai)

Reader: huh??! did I just read through all that #$% to know what bugs you? 

Me:  (arms out the SRK way) Naaahiiii, wait! don't go!  you should know this ... you want to know this... this is cooool....fading sound.  

Me in Mandir: (Bells ringing all at once by unseen cosmic force) Bhagwaan, aaj tak maine tujhse kuch nahi maanga.... par aaj maangta hun... give me back my readers! 

(Thunder, Lightening and punditji with tilak follow...)

Sequence flash ends.


Okay okay, I admit it.. I overdo it sometimes (read always).
But hey, that was refreshingly fun, right?

Not waiting for an answer... I'll just get back to the topic...

What annoys (bigtime understatement) me the most is grosse mis-spellings and mis-pronunciations of my last name! 


(that's not me, in case you're wondering.)

Hence the title of the post.... The name's not so bad that its IMPOSSIBLE to pronounce is it? *rolling eyes*
This may sound really drab... but let me elaborate.

My last name is Luthur .... let me spell that out for you... L-U-T-H-U-R.

If you're thinking this... and I'm quite sure that you are..
No, I'm not a descendent of any of the two Martin LuthErs .... No, I don't know why we use this spelling, it just is.....and No, I don't know why this is my family name. Questions quenched? 

Now, was that so hard? One wouldn't think so.
But the common intellect has formed opinions that beg to differ.
I'll divide this into two sections
a) Spelling.
b) Pronunciation.

Spelling

Its my gift... Its my curse ... as was Peter Parker's ...His problem being way smaller compared to mine (I told you I overdo it)....

People have mis-spelt my name in all kinds of places....I'll be kind enough to list these:
-Attendance registers
-Admit cards
-Driver's licence
-Shopping card
-Campus placement selection list (I corrected them immediately!)
-Phone bill
-Electricity+water bill
-Chat
-emails

You get the drift I'm sure...

Coming to the actual facts, the following are the ways in which my name has been mis-spelt, in order: 

-L-U-T-H-E-R (frequently)
-L-U-T-H-A-R
-L-A-T-H-U-R
-L-U-T-H-R-A (I've fought with people for this one.)
-L-U-T-H-R-I-A

I shopped at lifestyle and got a member ship card issued... I filled in their entry form to the best of my abilities and submitted it to them. The next day, I get a mail saying " Congratulations, Mr. Mohit Mathur"
wtf!!!!   so here's the last..

-M-A-T-H-U-R (rarely)

Although, I haven't encounterd a L-U-T-H-O-R yet...  superman fans... where are you?

Pronunciation

 Allright, coming to the pronunciation bit... I'm sure its pretty clear from the previous spellings section what this one would include... so I'll get right down to listing them: 

okay people... this would be clearer if I actually say it out... I dont really know how to write phonetics... and i'm not sure if u can read it either... so I'm just gonna record it and put up the audio clip.



Till the next most irritating occurance, au revoir.

11 comments:

Pri said...

aye aye sir...LUTHUR it is!! :)

mohit said...

@ pri
ahem... thank u!

The Seeker said...

yeah!!!!! Mohit! hello Lathar!!!

Just kidding bro!!! Its really irritating when people mispronounce and don bother to know the correct spelling and spell on their own, It happens for me,

Bharath

Barat
bharat
rarely do they spell they way I do,,,

karan said...

dood....yu mysd LOO-THOOR!!
yisnt yit??
peeple awlso yoused two kall yu bye thys name...
*eye am reely bad with spellings*

karan said...

and waise bhi "wts there in a name.."
oiee btw cunt hear that audio clip of urs....!!

sulz said...

when it comes to names, my problem is that i have one too many (like those caucasians with three middle names) and when people see my full name they invariably asked if that's my real name and why do i have so many. it can be a conversation starter, but most of the time it's tiring to repeat the same answer: 'cos my parents chose it! what other reason is there?

Anup sharma said...

abe kya yaar koi bhi nahi tera naam theek se le pata koi nahi ..........ye galti tere nahi hai ki tune itna unique last name hai........waise i hv a suggestion u carry a board kind thing and write ur name on it....so that ever one can read it .......lol and one more thing u can also carry a recorder in which u can record ur name so that every one can hear it also....

mohit said...

@ barath (that's wat ur email id says): Like I mentioned, Its our gift, our curse...lets just whack ppl on the head and correct 'em then ;)

@ karan: hehe... wats there in a , name, huh? shakespearean kab se ho gaya??

@ sulz: totally... its always the same conversations! no wonder u chose sulz(which is cute, btw) :D

@ anup: maybe I should just get an electronic ID card made by u ! Plus, it'll be ur work's ad ;)

Jatin said...

Unfortunately mere bhai, in the rathar interesting section titled 'Spelling' you have MISPELT the word 'LICENSE'. Rathar ironical. I beckon you Please Sire, Do give grant us a Poem on Ironies.

mohit said...

@ jatin:
hey, when did I say I was perfect?
;)

will correct it though.

mohit said...

n oh, it really is 'rathEr ironical'

:D