Saturday, May 29, 2010

B.A.L.D

There's something big going on that I haven't yet shared.

One fine day, when the sun had just risen, the birds had just woken up, and all sane people were still asleep, I had a dream.....

Scene 1:
There was a tall man in a robe, with a loong white beard and a slender, black wand in his hand, who told me that magical things were waiting for me in the far beyond...but to reach there, I had to give up something that I love the most..... "What, O noble knight, are you willing to sacrifice for this gift-de-grandeur?" was the question..
I stood at my place, sword in hand, thinking if it was worth it.... but a wise 'baazigar' once said "Kuch paane ke liye kuch khona padta hai" . Who was I to disagree..... the deeds of the ancients were upon me and the hour of enlightenment had finally approached. It was now or never...it was the one moment to which every epic leads....... and I decided to do it.

Scene 2:
Its dark from where I'm being led towards light.... I shield my eyes with my metal-bound hands as the sun shines fiercely upon me... the crowd cheering me to move forward, my captors motivating me with the tips of their spears..... in the center of this arena of shame stands the executioner.... the stage littered with the shadow of demise.....
Being the man of the moment, I step up....intoxicated with the promise of the druid....
With a practiced, acute strike, the blade was quenched....its purpose fulfilled, it lay back in the hands of its master, shining in the glaze.

PAUSE

If you're wondering where this is leading to, I'd say I'm not really sure...... and so I'm ending this fantasy...:P

Felt like being dramatic...and voila ! The crux of the story, ladies and gents is that I've gone the clean shaven way.... head wise.

Yup, you got that right... I think the 'B' word is a little racist, so I'm gonna refer to it as ..umm.....'differently-maned'.

I'm sure there's a lot of questions bubbling up inside, so I'm taking time out to describe the experience...in case any of you decide to continue the legacy....

The guide to Being differently-maned :

1.The first thing people ask is 'Why'? What should I tell them?
Ans: Mug up the 2 scenes I've described above and start rattling 'em out in such a scenario...by the time you've reached the center of the arena, your audience is sure to have dissipated.

2. People everywhere stare at me, when I walk past. They look at my head when talking to me. What do I do?
Ans: Now you know what chicks with big...ermm.... glands... feel. Go to one, tell her to stop looking at your head, and ask her what to do.

3. What is the best season to follow this legacy of yours, great sir?
Ans: Flattery won't get you anywhere...in any season. What you've got to do is to choose which season you look fatter in.... shave your head then. This will draw all attention to your head, leaving your weight issues redundant.

4. Is this a publicity stunt?
If being in the spotlight is a sin, this is the mother of all bank robberies.

5. I've heard Hrithik Roshan has asked you to suggest his look in a film.. is that correct?
Ans: Please, don't get confused, he asked Rakesh.

6. Are you going to launch a TV series on the art of being bald?
Ans: I would slap legal allegations on you for this racist comment, if only you weren't a prospective viewer.
Now that 'Lost' has ended, the world needs support...so perhaps.

7. Are there any side effects to this state?
Ans: Yes. This'll lead to a reverse revolution, leading to the meltdown of all Comb, and Hair-care industries. Millions of jobs are at potential risk. That's why I've now requested for Z-security.

8. If you publish a book on this, would you sign a copy for my kid?
Ans: *Take baby in arms and pose*

9. What is your move's impact on society and our civilization?
Ans: Many, actually...I'm planning to call another press conference solely for that. However, amongst the obvious is that it'll expose everyone who's shallow...thus creating a society that's based on trust, love and lack-of-the-need-to-comb.

By now you'll notice the crowds around your conference venue have increased drastically, chanting your name, waving banners and babies. Time for a getaway....press the red button inside your sleeve, right about.........now.

*Sound of chopper landing on roof* . Gotta go guys...peace out \m/


Sunday, May 16, 2010

Excerpts..

The situation's bad. I think work's consuming me a bit more everyday. I almost feel guilty now, not going to work on weekends (watching Iron Man 2 does help tho :P)

However, I'm glad that I still have urges to write....but they're now reduced to drafts on my cell....

Here's an excerpt of something that I was hoping to make into a good post...but just couldn't....

It's like I'm in exile.... the people who matter aren't here....feels like a dream where I can do whatever, be whoever and it'll be normal again once I wake up...
Or is it, really? Do we have to prepare for reality in a dream? Why is it that every action is aimed at paving a path for a larger than life destination?
Are my feelings real this time, or is this just the after-effect of an incredibly boring official lunch?
Losers. 
Are you any different, but?

I can be really shallow at times, and I don't even regret it......don't get me wrong... I don't mean the hot-not-hot kinda shallow....that's hard wired in guys...... I'm sapiosexual. Big time. Its something that I've tested out a lot. I just can't be with someone who's not ...well..... up to it.

Later then.
Love ya.

Sunday, May 2, 2010

bits n pieces

I've probably given off this impression before, but life is an irregular blend of cliches and surprises.

Do you remember the character that Jimmy Shergill plays in Munnabhai MBBS? yup..Zaheer...the innocent guy who doesnt drink, doesnt smoke, is a virgin ( not that it mattered in the situation) and still ends up dying with cancer..... yea, life's often unfair to the 'good' ppl...... it seems the baddies have all the fun...... often those who sacrifice their morals end up at the top.....

It's unfair really.. I had to go to the dentist today cuz of a toothache...... fyi :

1) I don't smoke
2) heck, I don't even like sweets
3) I brush twice daily

Like I said, its a cliched existance.
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Have you ever noticed how kids are really simple in dealing with people? (note - the other way around might not be true).... they either like someone, or they don't...and their not afraid to show it.......
We on the other hand are in a different league alltogether.....

Does anyone feel that they were really dumb as a kid?
I do.....there was once an evening when one of dad's colleagues had come home for dinner. I must've been...say in the 3rd ......
When the adults were talking, I realized that the guy's wife was a English teacher at some school....... and then  I did something that I'm still embarrassed of... I went to my room, and brought out an essay that we were supposed to write....... then I read it to her...out loud.....

just cuz she was a teacher..... damnit....silly kid that I was....

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I've made an observation..... women actually are better at multi tasking

I've got to manage my time better..... this, I feel, will will take me down..

I read an email from Narayan Murthy...n its made me feel trapped..

I've wound myself in a web where I coax myself into staying late in office......I so dont want to do this.... there's so much I want to do apart from work... and I will, soon hopefully

Life's calling Mohit, where are you??


too sleepy to write more....later.