Saturday, May 29, 2010

B.A.L.D

There's something big going on that I haven't yet shared.

One fine day, when the sun had just risen, the birds had just woken up, and all sane people were still asleep, I had a dream.....

Scene 1:
There was a tall man in a robe, with a loong white beard and a slender, black wand in his hand, who told me that magical things were waiting for me in the far beyond...but to reach there, I had to give up something that I love the most..... "What, O noble knight, are you willing to sacrifice for this gift-de-grandeur?" was the question..
I stood at my place, sword in hand, thinking if it was worth it.... but a wise 'baazigar' once said "Kuch paane ke liye kuch khona padta hai" . Who was I to disagree..... the deeds of the ancients were upon me and the hour of enlightenment had finally approached. It was now or never...it was the one moment to which every epic leads....... and I decided to do it.

Scene 2:
Its dark from where I'm being led towards light.... I shield my eyes with my metal-bound hands as the sun shines fiercely upon me... the crowd cheering me to move forward, my captors motivating me with the tips of their spears..... in the center of this arena of shame stands the executioner.... the stage littered with the shadow of demise.....
Being the man of the moment, I step up....intoxicated with the promise of the druid....
With a practiced, acute strike, the blade was quenched....its purpose fulfilled, it lay back in the hands of its master, shining in the glaze.

PAUSE

If you're wondering where this is leading to, I'd say I'm not really sure...... and so I'm ending this fantasy...:P

Felt like being dramatic...and voila ! The crux of the story, ladies and gents is that I've gone the clean shaven way.... head wise.

Yup, you got that right... I think the 'B' word is a little racist, so I'm gonna refer to it as ..umm.....'differently-maned'.

I'm sure there's a lot of questions bubbling up inside, so I'm taking time out to describe the experience...in case any of you decide to continue the legacy....

The guide to Being differently-maned :

1.The first thing people ask is 'Why'? What should I tell them?
Ans: Mug up the 2 scenes I've described above and start rattling 'em out in such a scenario...by the time you've reached the center of the arena, your audience is sure to have dissipated.

2. People everywhere stare at me, when I walk past. They look at my head when talking to me. What do I do?
Ans: Now you know what chicks with big...ermm.... glands... feel. Go to one, tell her to stop looking at your head, and ask her what to do.

3. What is the best season to follow this legacy of yours, great sir?
Ans: Flattery won't get you anywhere...in any season. What you've got to do is to choose which season you look fatter in.... shave your head then. This will draw all attention to your head, leaving your weight issues redundant.

4. Is this a publicity stunt?
If being in the spotlight is a sin, this is the mother of all bank robberies.

5. I've heard Hrithik Roshan has asked you to suggest his look in a film.. is that correct?
Ans: Please, don't get confused, he asked Rakesh.

6. Are you going to launch a TV series on the art of being bald?
Ans: I would slap legal allegations on you for this racist comment, if only you weren't a prospective viewer.
Now that 'Lost' has ended, the world needs support...so perhaps.

7. Are there any side effects to this state?
Ans: Yes. This'll lead to a reverse revolution, leading to the meltdown of all Comb, and Hair-care industries. Millions of jobs are at potential risk. That's why I've now requested for Z-security.

8. If you publish a book on this, would you sign a copy for my kid?
Ans: *Take baby in arms and pose*

9. What is your move's impact on society and our civilization?
Ans: Many, actually...I'm planning to call another press conference solely for that. However, amongst the obvious is that it'll expose everyone who's shallow...thus creating a society that's based on trust, love and lack-of-the-need-to-comb.

By now you'll notice the crowds around your conference venue have increased drastically, chanting your name, waving banners and babies. Time for a getaway....press the red button inside your sleeve, right about.........now.

*Sound of chopper landing on roof* . Gotta go guys...peace out \m/


13 comments:

Mind Writer! said...

Change of template, being B.A.L.D, following Zen, kya? Seems you really wanted a change, huh?

The post was HILARIOUS, by the way! What was it? Lord of the Rings on your mind? :D

The guide to being differently maned! Great answers, specially point 2, 3 and 8!

And you should've posted a picture of yours with the new look! :D

mohit said...

hehe.... yup...definitely wanted a change...had gotten so bored of this place re...
actually changing the blog template too .. :P

and I'm glad you liked it :D

posting a pic.... aah... fcbuk hai na, for that ;)

Choco said...

Aha! New look for both blog and Mohit. Naaaice...So...Does the profile pic change now? :p

Say yes. Please do... :D

Greeshma. said...

That's one hell of a post.
I actually forgot you were 'differently maned' by the end of it. :P

P.S. Nice Change to the Blog. \m/

mohit said...

@choco
hehe....that we'll jst have to wait n see..

@Greeshma
thanks ! great seeing u here
:D
'come again'

sulagna ™ said...

gimme yoour mums number..i need to speak to her....kya ho gaya tumhe???? bald?? now we have another bald guy??? :( :(


and hey thanks a lot for such thoughtful words you wrote on my last post...means a lot taklu :)

Madhu said...

Mohit gone bald? Okay..if akon can look good..u can too! [watte comparision!]

mohit said...

@Sulagna
umm..... *looking around for escape routes*


@Madhu
ahem.... thank you ?
;)

suruchi said...

OMG...here/hair today n gone tomorrow?
I personally like bald men*no, not an excuse to justify the receding hairline of my beloved*
I think with the clarity on their head...clarity of what’s within increases too...

Most bald men I have met/known have been extremely witty...
You of course cannot boast of a before/after situation coz you’ve been witty all along...
But those mind-blowing question answers out there, make me think again about the authenticity of what I stated above...
Bald men are definitely wittier than the rest of us!

P.S. Uff I forgot I was supposed to address them as ‘differently-manned’...but then I am in a kinda hurry and it was a choice not between being racist or otherwise....but between one word is to two!
Looooooooooooved the answers*bowing down to His Majesty*

P.S.Can we plsssssssssss see a snap now?:-)

Choco said...

ohhh...Itne dino mein toh baal wapas ug aaye honge yaa...What the heck..Where is the pic Mohit? :D

mohit said...

@ suruchi
hahaha.... how do u always write such amazing comments?
;)

there...i've put it up

@ choco
lol...nai re... its the look...keeping it this summer.... here goes...

Choco said...

:o :o :o
Wowie...Saw your dp in my comments and came over to gape...

Hats off to you dude (arrey baba..hat tumko chahiye na ab..isliye :D )
You rock! :)

And might I add that you look umm a tad scary...And hence I stress that you rock! ;)

mohit said...

hmm...scary, eh?

now that's a first ...lol

thanks tho :D